IDENTITY THEFT
by Laura
Lee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLURB:
A bored employee in a rock star's office
begins an online relationship with a fan in the guise of his boss and sets off
a chain of events he cannot control.
Candi Tavris is on the verge of turning 30, she works in the packaging
department of a company that is downsizing and she is hounded by calls from
creditors who mispronounce her name. She wakes up every morning praying that
the folks at Life Lock will perform their work in reverse and give her
"identity" to someone else. Her younger sister, never a serious
student, married a rich executive and lives in a mansion.
Candi's only solace is escaping into the music and image of the 80s pop
star Blast.
Ethan Penn, a 22
year-old college dropout who smokes pot and lives in his mother's basement, works in the rock star's office.
(His desk sits under a framed gold record with a dead spider caught in the glass.)
His boss, whose real name is Ollie Thomas, is as socially awkward off
stage as he is charismatic on stage. He is depressed about his pending divorce.
His greatest fame is behind him, his biggest hit "Partly Cloudy Thursday
(Blast With Me)" was a cliched monstrosity written to please record
executives. His rock n' roll lifestyle mostly consists of finding ways to keep
his laundry from stinking while on the road and trying to remain anonymous
while buying Preparation-H.
Blast assigns the task of keeping up with his social networking to
Ethan. Ethan starts to correspond with Candi through e-mail and chats in the
guise of the rock star. The conversation soon becomes steamy. The game spirals
out of control when Blast performs a concert in Candi's hometown and Candi is
mistaken first for a groupie and then for a delusional stalker.
Candi must try to prove (and retain) her sanity. Ethan must decide
whether to risk jail by telling the truth. A terrified Ollie has to come to
terms with his relationship with his Blast character and the consequences of
his fame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXCERPT:
“This call may be monitored...”
When she saw the 800 number on the caller ID, Candi had not
wanted to pick up the phone, but she had been through the routine long enough
to know that the only way to stop them from harassing you was to talk to
them. She had just come home from work
and was still dressed in a green fitted blazer and matching slacks. The outfit had looked much better in the
catalog on the size 2 model than on her size 12 frame. She plopped down on the couch, kicked off her
uncomfortable high heel shoes, and waited to be connected to a human being.
“Hello, my name is Susan,” said the caller.
“Your name is not Susan,” Candi wanted to say. “How is the
weather in Bangalore?” She didn't say
that, though. She sat and waited for “Susan” to finish her script.
“I am calling in regards to your Capital One card. Your
payment of $105 is five days late. Can
you make that payment today to bring your account current?”
She wanted to say, “If I could, don't you think I would
have?” There was really no point in
saying anything like that. In harried
moods, she had tried. It just made the
call last longer.
“No,” she said.
“When will you be able to make that payment?”
“August 5th,” she said with a tone of certainty. She didn't
know if she would be able to make the payment then, but the woman on the line
didn't care about that. She just needed
to plug a date into the computer. Once the
right boxes were checked, Capital One would leave her alone for a while.
Candi also understood that “Susan”'s boss-- the bank--didn't
really care either. They were thrilled
her payment was late because it meant they could charge her late fees and jack
up her rates. So everyone was happy.
They just had to do this little bit of theater from time to time. Sometimes it amazed her to think they hired
someone half a world away for this charade.
Years of computer science and the space program had to happen in order
for a woman in India to bully an office worker in suburban San Diego about a
$100 payment that was five days late.
As she confirmed her address and phone number with the
caller, Candi played with her shoulder-length, brown hair. She half-consciously
examined each strand checking for split ends and light color. She had found a couple of grays that
morning. She tried to convince herself
they had actually been blonde hairs. Age 29 was far too early to start finding
grays.
When Susan's computer form was filled out and everyone had
played their roles, Candi unplugged the phone from the wall. She wasn't in the mood to act out that
particular bit of Kabuki again today.
She turned on the television and let it play in the
background as she heated up her dinner-- leftover Little Caesar’s Pizza. ($5 for a large.) They key to reheating pizza
without making the dough gummy is to put it in the oven and not the
microwave. Candi set the oven to 450,
pulled out a baking sheet, covered it with a roll of aluminum foil and plopped
two slices on top but she tossed the tray into the oven before it had a chance
to preheat.
Candi didn't have a kitchen exactly. It was more of a food-making area. Her
apartment consisted three rooms. The
front room, in which she was standing, was a combination living, dining,
kitchen space. The oven and refrigerator were in the back corner a few steps
from the television and couch. Her
bedroom was just behind the kitchenette through a doorway. If you needed the
bathroom, you had to walk through the bedroom to get there. The bathroom, curiously, was almost as large
as the living room.
My Thoughts:
This book had an interesting concept: a modern re-telling of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac story. Set in the world of rock and roll with an unlikely rock hero, no less. I really liked that concept and I couldn't wait to see what the author came up with. Unfortunately for me, it was a let down. The story was slow to the point of being sluggish, I couldn't connect with any of the characters, and so it just didn't work for me.
This book had an interesting concept: a modern re-telling of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac story. Set in the world of rock and roll with an unlikely rock hero, no less. I really liked that concept and I couldn't wait to see what the author came up with. Unfortunately for me, it was a let down. The story was slow to the point of being sluggish, I couldn't connect with any of the characters, and so it just didn't work for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Metro Detroit
native Laura Lee divides her time equally between writing and producing ballet
educational tours with her partner, the artistic director of the Russian
National Ballet Foundation. She is the author of more than a dozen non-fiction
books with such publishers as Harper Collins, Reader’s Digest, Running Press,
Broadway Books, Lyons Press and Black Dog and Leventhal. Her Pocket
Encyclopedia of Aggravation has sold more than 85,000 copies. She has also
written two collections of poetry, and a children’s book (A Child’s
Introduction to Ballet). She brings to her writing a unique background as a
radio announcer, improvisational comic and one-time professional mime.
The San
Francisco Chronicle has said of her work, “Lee’s dry, humorous tone makes her a
charming companion… She has a penchant for wordplay that is irresistible.”
Angel is her
first novel. Read more about the book at http://angelthenovel.carbonmade.com/.
https://lauraleeauthor.wordpress.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Laura-Lee/e/B004MU7TIK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1421698893&sr=8-1
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ReplyDeleteA very interesting blurb.
ReplyDeleteI do love stories that involve rock stars!
ReplyDelete