Publication date: November 4th 2014
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult
Synopsis:
Ashley Smith spent her life being shipped from one family member to the next. When Ashley’s estranged father dies, she finally has the money to go to college and the chance to find a place where she belongs.
Within days, Ashley has found the one thing she’s always longed for – a family. She may have even found love. There’s only one problem. Ashley likes Colin…a lot, but so does Randi, and everyone likes Randi. Randi’s approval is the single easiest way to belong. Falling in love with Randi’s crush is the single easiest way to find oneself on the outside for the next three years.
When Ashley arrived at college, she never dreamed she’d find this kind of happiness. Will she allow herself to hold on to this happiness, and Colin, or will her fear of losing her friends, the only friends she’s ever known, dictate her actions?
When Ashley arrived at college, she never dreamed she’d find this kind of happiness. Will she allow herself to hold on to this happiness, and Colin, or will her fear of losing her friends, the only friends she’s ever known, dictate her actions?
Excerpt
1
As I sat next to Colin in Organic
Chemistry, I wondered if having classes together was actually a good thing.
Unlike my first professor, the
Organic Chemistry professor comprehensively explained the syllabus, including
course requirements, objectives, policies and assignments. All things I was
sure were going to be important in the grand scheme of the course.
And I didn’t hear a word she said.
Once again, I was completely
distracted by the man sitting next to me.
We were in another massive classroom
dominated by stadium seating. We would, over the course of the semester, split
our time between this room and the chemistry lab. There were no spaces between
the seats, just a thin metal arm rest jutting out from the spot where the seat
backs met each other.
Every time Colin moved — to grab
his notebook, to turn off his cell phone, to turn the pages of the syllabus we
were reviewing — his body brushed some part of mine. By the time we were on the
third page of the syllabus, he had brushed me three times with his arm and once
with his leg.
And I was frozen.
Every time he touched me, albeit
accidentally, my stomach dropped, and my cheeks flamed. My entire face was on
fire within the first twenty minutes of class, and I couldn’t concentrate on
anything but the boy to my left. I was afraid to move even a quarter of an inch
for fear that I would inadvertently shift myself too far away for his
unintentional brushes.
To make matters worse, my mind,
which never wanders in class, began to drift away and I, the girl who rarely
loses focus on a task, drifted with it.
As I sat frozen in my seat,
waiting for the next time Colin brushed against me, I wondered what it would be
like if his brushes weren’t
accidental — if he was touching me on purpose…leaning his leg against mine
casually as he relaxed in his seat, running his fingers down my arms, holding
my hand in his, entwining our fingers together…
And as I imagined this, I felt
myself smiling, my fantasy becoming so detailed that I could actually feel his
warm hand, his long fingers, wrapping around my wrist. I could hear him saying
my name again and again, the concern in his voice growing each time he repeated
it…
Wait…what?
“Ashley? Ashley?”
Oh no. I looked over at him. His face was filled with concern. I
cringed.
“Sorry.” I smiled sheepishly.
“I’m just…” I closed my eyes and rubbed my face, which was on fire, in my hands.
“…You know, taking it all in. E-everything’s a little o-overwhelming,” I
stuttered. I hoped that being overwhelmed was a good excuse for acting like a
lunatic.
He smiled. “Don’t worry, Ash.
I’ll help you.” And as he stood, he put his hand under my elbow to help me up.
Thank goodness next class is in
the lab.
Excerpt
2
By the time we were halfway
through reviewing the second chapter, I was fully engrossed by the disparity
between the two sides of my body and had completely and utterly lost focus on
Organic Chemistry. All of my focus was on the parts of my body that pressed
against Colin. I only hoped Colin wouldn’t notice.
“You alright, Ash?”
And, of course, he did.
“Huh?” was my brilliant answer.
“Are you okay? You’re kind of out of
it.”
I needed an excuse. I didn’t think, "Oh,
I was just daydreaming about having your body pressed against mine," would
cut it.
“Oh, um, I’m sorry.” I shook my
head, trying to dispel the fog. “I was just trying to figure out where I was
going to sleep tonight. Becca went home, and I didn’t think to borrow her key.”
Awesome save, Ashley.
“Rookie mistake,” he joked and
nudged his shoulder into mine, pushing his body harder against my side. “I
forget that this is your first semester here. It’s strange. I feel like I’ve
known you so much longer than just a couple of months.”
Then, he turned his face to mine—it
was just a couple of inches away—and smiled warmly. I looked into his eyes, and
the heat that had been just in my right side spread through the rest of my
body.
Colin’s expression suddenly changed,
and he looked away.
“You could, you know, sleep in
here.” He shrugged.
He looked so nervous that I actually
smiled.
“I’d sleep in Brett’s bed, of
course.” He looked up at me and continued, more confident now. “I won’t try
anything funny.”
I don’t know how it slipped out, but
all of a sudden, I heard myself reply in a husky, flirtatious voice, “It’s not
the funny stuff that I’m worried about.” Then, I felt the corners of my mouth
tip up.
I had no idea where it came from. As
soon as the words came out, I knew I shouldn’t have opened my mouth, and now that
they were out there, I couldn’t take them back.
Suddenly, the entire atmosphere of
the room changed. The air was thicker somehow, and I was even more aware of Colin next to me, as if
that were possible.
Our eyes locked, and he leaned
toward me, closing the inches of space between us.
I knew he was going to kiss me. I
also knew I wasn’t going to stop him.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head
back, knowing this may be a bad idea and that it may change things—and not in a
good way—but also knowing that right then, at that second, and in that moment,
I couldn’t stop it.
And as I waited for Colin’s lips to
touch mine, I realized that there wasn’t anything either of us could do to stop
it. There wasn’t anything anyone
could do to stop it.
Excerpt
3
After lunch, Colin finally
decided he was tired and went to his room to take a nap. I tried to get some
sleep too, but found I wasn’t able to. Instead, I laid around my room, reading,
and enjoying the quiet.
Around seven that evening, Colin
came to my room to see what I was doing and if I wanted dinner.
“I’m not really hungry. I’m
actually still full from lunch.”
“Okay. I think I’m going to heat
up some of our leftovers from yesterday and then watch a movie. You in?”
The events of the past two days
were beginning to catch up with me, and I was starting to feel a little loopy
from lack of sleep. Laying down in front of a television to watch a movie did
not sound like a bad idea at all.
“I’m definitely in. I’m just
going to get changed real quick. I’m freezing.”
Our dorm seemed to get
progressively colder as the weekend wore on. I wasn’t sure if there was a
problem, or the school was just trying to save money while most of the students
were away, but it was starting to get really cold.
I put on my warmest, comfiest
sweats, grabbed my comforter and headed to the lounge to meet Colin.
“What are we watching?” I asked
when I got there. He was sitting at a table eating what looked like turkey and
mashed potato sandwiches on the dinner rolls I made.
“I haven’t quite figured that out
yet. Any suggestions?”
I walked over to the cabinet that
housed the dorm’s meager collection of movies. “I probably haven’t seen any of
them, so it’s really up to you.”
Colin put his sandwich down and
walked to where I was standing.
“What are you in the mood for —
funny or scary?”
I looked up at him. “Never
scary.”
He laughed. “Funny it is.” He
plucked a movie from the shelf and put it in the DVD player.
I sat on the sofa, waiting for
Colin as he finished his meal and cleaned up. He turned off the lights in the
room before coming over to sit beside me.
“Good call with the comforter.
It’s freezing,” he said as he sat down.
“Here.” I offered him part of the
blanket. “We can share.”
He moved closer on the sofa,
covering his legs, and we settled in to watch the movie.
I’m not actually sure how or when
it happened, but sometime during the movie, Colin and I shifted. No longer were
we sitting next to each other with space between us. Instead, we were wrapped
together in my comforter, my head on his chest and his arms around me, tucked
into his side.
I didn’t want to move. I was
afraid even to breathe, fearing if I moved at all, he’d move and somehow I
wouldn’t be here anymore with his arms wrapped around me.
I had planned on going to bed
early that night, but not quite like this. Before I knew it, I felt myself
dozing off in Colin’s arms. I was so warm and comfortable, and as I was nodding
off, it registered in my brain where I was, and I thought there really was
nothing better than falling asleep in Colin’s arms.
And I realized, just a short time
later, that I was wrong. There was one thing better than falling asleep in
Colin’s arms and that was waking up in them.
“Ashley.”
I heard a voice gently say my
name, and when I opened my eyes, they were looking directly into Colin’s.
I blinked up at him, still
unwilling to move.
“It’s getting late, Ash. Let’s
get you to bed.” He gently unwrapped his arms from around me and helped me up.
I was still in a fog.
Colin took my hand and walked me
to my room. When we got to the door, I turned to look at him. He had such a
tender look in his eyes that it left me speechless. He reached up and brushed
my hair, which had become unruly, away from my face. Then, he leaned down and
kissed my forehead and said quietly, “Good night.”
His gentleness took me by
surprise — so much so that I just stood there, watching his retreating body as
he walked back toward the lounge.
That night, I slept fitfully.
Even though I’d been dozing comfortably in Colin’s arms, out of them, I was
restless. When I did sleep, he was in my thoughts. He invaded more than one of
my dreams that night.
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Coleen writes young adult novels, loves running, rock music, the shore, daisies and bread.
When Coleen's not plotting or writing her next book, she can be found making sandwiches in her family's restaurant, running (but mostly walking) Disney marathons, reading any book she can get her hands on and playing with her adorable kid. She lives in New Jersey with her husband, daughter, two dogs and lizard.
When Coleen's not plotting or writing her next book, she can be found making sandwiches in her family's restaurant, running (but mostly walking) Disney marathons, reading any book she can get her hands on and playing with her adorable kid. She lives in New Jersey with her husband, daughter, two dogs and lizard.
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