Thursday, February 9, 2012

Valentine Blog Fest: First Sight

First, let me apologize for being late to the party. What can I say? Life and writing got in the way! But, I am going to make up for it, I promise.

For many people, their first contact with a potential partner/lover is by sight. That glimpse across the room, at a photo, etc., can be a powerful thing. It can be what drives us forward to talk to that person in the bar, at the party, from work. Here is an example of First Sight from one of my WIPs entitled If You Can See Me:

She was sitting hunched over the oval table – with her back to the door. But she looked so vulnerable with her deep red hair (not strawberry blonde, like her sister’s) piled high on her head, exposing the fragile column of her neck to view, he almost faltered in his purpose. No – no. He couldn’t let his thing for the shapely lines of a woman’s neck deter him from his purpose. Not now, when he was this close. He wouldn’t. So he moved forward, on quiet feet, careful not to let her know of his presence until he was ready.

Not that it mattered. She was too intent on her work to acknowledge his presence – which, under different circumstances, would’ve pricked his male pride and made him try harder to secure her notice. But these weren’t different circumstances and he liked that he had the advantage over her. It made it so much easier for him to slip up behind her and place his hands on the table on either side of her, effectively boxing her in. Too bad he was nearly undone by the way the little curls at her neck danced with the breath he fanned over it and by the scent of honey and vanilla that wafted up from her hair and skin. Did she have to smell like something you could eat?

Her only response to his action was a sharp inhalation of breath. She didn’t even change her position over the table. She just sat there, frozen. Like a rabbit caught in a trap. Waiting. Breath held. Body tensed with anticipation.

Dammit, did he have to keep thinking of her body and what it smelled like? What it felt like, gently pressed against his? He was losing it. Better to get this done and get the hell out of there before he made a complete fool of himself. Over a woman whose face he hadn’t even seen yet! Although, judging by the attractive face of her sister – what he could remember of it with its sparkling blue eyes, pouty lips, and pert nose – it was a safe bet this Delaney would be as stunning from the front as she was from the back. Oh, man, he had to stop this nonsense before he embarrassed himself and lost his edge.

“You know,” she said in a somewhat smokey voice, barely above a whisper, “for someone who went to all this trouble to sneak up on me, you’re taking kind of a long time to press your advantage.”

Nate smiled despite the seriousness of the situation. She was spunky, he had to give her that. Let’s see how far her spunk can take her. “You know,” he mimicked her, “for someone who just committed a fraud, you’re remarkably calm and unrepentant.”

She did move then, ever so slightly. Just her head, in fact, so she could gaze up at him over a shoulder. Her eyes were brown. Oh, dear Lord, a redhead with eyes of brown.  Did someone up there have a blueprint for his ideal woman? Of course they did. But why here, why now? The timing couldn’t be worse.


  1. Bravo, Margay...nice excerpt. Looking forward to this one. *smile*

    Welcome to the glad life gave you a little break so you could join the party...we missed you. Now it feels complete.

    Party on!

  2. Nice excerpt. Just shows you should never sneak up on someone. You never know what to expect in that "first sight."

    librarypat AT comcast DOT net

  3. Liked your excerpt. It made me want more.
    mcv111 at hotmail(dot)com

  4. That's a great "first Look" excerpt. Thanks for sharing.

    catherinelee100 at gmail dot com