Breakdown by Amanda Lance
New Adult Romance
Charlotte Ferro is about to jump.
Yet nothing ruins a perfectly good suicide attempt worse than a handsome do-gooder. After William O’Reilly convinces her to take one last ride with him, Charlotte finds herself forgetting about her own problems and enjoying a world of which she never dreamed.
Now addicted to the rush of fast cars and cool criminals, Charlotte finds herself leaning less towards the ledge and more toward the arms of her savior. But with reasons of his own for keeping Charlotte safe from herself, William is reluctant to involve her in his criminal undertakings. Will his career choice keep them apart? Will Charlotte’s painful past?
Excerpt:
I met him out in the
rain, smiling under my vinyl hood, but trying not to seem overeager. Through
the rain, the smoke from the tailgate blended together with the fog the evening
rains brought on, and for a moment I pretended to stare at it, standing at the end of the driveway in case he
was watching for me. And, when the passenger side door opened, I knew he was.
“Hey!” I tried shaking some of the rain from my
jacket and slipped inside. Wearing a long-sleeve Henley with the sleeves rolled
up, I noticed right away how the blue of his shirt made the stars on his arm
pop. Instead of staring at them, I tried to focus instead at the gray beanie
that made his messy hair look even messier.
“Hey yourself, Jumper.” He smiled and looked me up
and down.
Frankly, I was surprised he hadn’t invited himself
in and already made himself home. “How’s the car running?”
I smiled and leaned my head against the sear. “More
like walking—or fast crawling, but it’s better than nothing.”
He nodded sympathetically.
“What are you doing here?” I stared off at the
windshield and silently prayed for the word race to come out of his mouth. “I
thought you had to work tonight.”
William stretched his arms out over the dash and
sighed. “If it’s okay with you, I don’t want to talk about work.”
If he didn’t want to talk about his night job then
it definitely must not have involved cars. Still, I honored his request and
didn’t ask him about it further.
Though my eyes had adjusted to the dark, I blinked
hard and focused in when I saw his right hand. A dirty, white rag had been
wrapped around the base of his knuckles to the top of his wrist, and while it
was dark and dingy, almost black after drying, the sight of blood was a
distinct one I couldn’t ignore. Without even thinking about it, I reached for
him the same way he had reached for me the night before. Like me, he gave the
limb over willingly.
“Christ, what happened to your hand?”
“Work.” He shrugged. “That’s kind of why I wanted
to see you.”
Reaching for the overhead light, I could see it was
bad without even really seeing it. William flinched when I tried to move the
makeshift wrap, but when I looked up to apologize he was smiling at me just
enough to let me know he had just been joking.
“Because we almost match? You’ll need stitches for
this. Do you have insurance? Are you a union member? I think there are some
hospitals where you only have to give them your member number…”
He chuckled and slid his hand out from mine. For a
second I was offended, but when he rubbed his eyes and shut off the overhead
light, I realized he was probably just tired. Maybe not as tired as me, but
tired regardless.
“I’m not worried about my hand, Jumper. I can take
care of it at home just as easy, you know that.”
“What—how did you do that?” I nodded to his hand
and put on my seatbelt. Though the likelihood of us going anywhere was less and
less, I wanted to let him know that I was ready. “You didn’t hurt yourself on
purpose, did you? Because I’m pretty sure I trademarked that last night.”
Chuckling, I couldn’t tell if he was entertained by
my worry or my attempt at humor. Still, I laughed a little along with him. “No,
Jumper, nothing like that. I was trying to, ah, get something open and I wasn’t
paying attention, stabbed myself with a screwdriver.” He added the last part
absent mindedly, as if his own flesh were irreverent. How he could feel that
way about himself when he was clearly an important person frightened me. If
William thought someone as wonderful as him didn’t matter, what possible chance
could I have? I shook my head and glared at him.
“What was so distracting that you felt the need to
stab yourself?”
William stopped laughing then, and looked at me
with an intensity I had only seen him give the road. “You.”
Taken aback, I looked away, unable to take his
stare when it was so unrelenting. “What?”
“All day long I’ve been thinking about what you did
yesterday, what you told me.” He closed his eyes and gripped the wheel. “What
you didn’t…”
“I’m sorry.” I told him honestly. “I wouldn’t have—if
I had known you were going to feel so bad about me hurting myself, I wouldn’t
have done it. But you don’t have to feel bad for me, William.” I swallowed hard
and looked away as new pangs of guilt rose in my stomach. “I know you do, but
you don’t have to. You aren’t responsible for me, you don’t owe me anything—”
“But you owe me something, right?” The smile was
back in his voice, instantly breaking the tension between us. While a
respectable girl might have, maybe should have, been offended, the offhanded
remark was more flirtatious than dangerous. I, therefore, did not think twice
about the fact that we were outside, alone and in the dark.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t worry, Jumper, I’d never ask you to do
anything if I didn’t think it wasn’t kosher.”
Though it was dark, I looked away, unsure whether
or not he could see me blush. “Says the Catholic.”
“Seriously, did you mean what you said earlier
about owing me a favor?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“Good.” He smiled. “Then instead of thinking about
talking to somebody, I want you to do it.”
“You’re kidding?”
“They have hotlines you can call, shrinks who work
for free, I know a priest who is a pretty good listener—”
“Why does this matter to you so much?”
“You mean why do you matter to me?”
“Yeah.” I gulped. “I guess.”
“I—” Smiling, he shook his head. “It’s complicated.
But let’s just say I get a rush out of you, Jumper, and I don’t want you to go
away anytime soon.”
“Anytime soon?”
“Yeah.” He laughed. “Are you going to argue with me
about that too?”
Instead of saying anything, I rested my head
against the cool glass. During the steadier streams of rain, the pitter-patter
would echo in my eardrums, undermining the headache that threatened me from too
much caffeine and a lack of sleep. I closed my eyes and inhaled the combined
scents of William and the rain.
“No, not tonight,” I said eventually. “But no
guarantees about later.”
When I opened my eyes again, he was smiling.
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About Amanda Lance
A native of New Jersey and lifelong nerd, Amanda Lance recently completed her Master in Liberal Arts at Thomas Edison State College after her BA in English Literature and AFA in creative writing. As an avid reader of all genres, some of her favorite authors include Hemingway, Marquis de Sade, Stevenson, Bukowski and Radcliffe.
When she isn’t writing or reading, Amanda can found indulging in film noir or hiking with her other half and their extremely spoiled dog. She is obsessively working on her next book and trying to tame her caffeine addiction.
